bornsnarky | for smartass

[McCoy has no idea how exactly they got back to the ship, but the over the shoulder glance he has of Jim on the goddamn floor makes him glad they did. He shakes his head to himself, and continues sorting through his drawers to find Jim a plain blue t-shirt and shorts and underwear.]

[He turns, clothes in one hand, and takes the few steps to Jim's side. The carpet's reasonably plush under Jim's knees. Standard issue, fairly thin, mostly the walls and ceiling and floor do the soundproofing, not the carpet. Right now Jim looks like he's in some kind of heaven anyway. He can probably feel the engines.]

[McCoy drops a hand on his shoulder, and waves the other in front of his face.]

[Gently.] Here. You wanna go get cleaned up first, and I'll make us a couple drinks and a couple sandwiches?

It's the ship.

[Like a kid seeing his parents again for the first time in days. Jim could laugh and cry at the same time. Instead he begrudgingly gets to his feet. ]

Yeah. I..yeah. Thanks, Bones.

[They roomed together in the Academy, Bones should expect by now that Jim is just giong to shed his clothes onto the floor as he wanders toward the bathroom. A sonic shower will do him some good. Normally he'd crave the luxury of water but he wants to know he's on the ship. Wants the ordinary, suddenly. Hell, he'd drink replicated coffee just to know it was replicated and he could complain about it.]

Holy hell Bones. Why didn't you tell me I looked like shit?

[Sounds like someone took a peek in the mirror]

[...expression softening]

Your ship. Yeah.

[McCoy knows Jim's home again, and knows he can't stay. That's killing McCoy badly enough. He can only imagine how it's fucking up Jim.]

[McCoy still squawks in token protest.]

You don't need to flash that ass every chance you get, y'know!

'Sone of the reasons I asked you to stay the night. Come back here and I'll tell you that you look like shit, if you like. But put some goddamn pants on first!

[It didn't work at the academy, that line isn't going to work now. But Jim does have the decency to put on the borrowed standard issue briefs Leonard had provded him. He doens't feel like getting smacked right now. He's still trying to get his other leg in the shorts as he hops out of the bathroom. The tshirt is slung over one arm.]

It occurs to me. Am I...am I on the ship too?

[Jim points toward where his own quarters would be. The general direction anyway.]

I"m not causing a paradox by crashing here tonight..am I?

Edited 2015-09-05 05:28 (UTC)

[Worth a damn try. Not that McCoy really cares if Jim's naked, especially when he's distressed. But complaining about him and his manners feels like a good way for both of them to feel a little more normal.]

[McCoy looks up from where he's carefully layering two preposterous sandwiches with three different kinds of meat, cheese, and salad. He's dressed similarly. T-shirt, shorts, bare feet.]

Are you -

[He blinks.]

Huh.

I hadn't thought of that. No, you're on-planet. Far as I know.

Don't worry about it. For tonight, you're my only captain. [He flutters his eyelashes and uses his most lascivious tone, then goes back to finishing off their dinner with a flourish.]

[Mother Hen Bones and Bratty kid Jim is the epitome of their relationship nine out of ten times, yes. They both fall into routine easy.]

Let me guess? 'You're not eating enough ya' damn tumbleweed'?

[One of his eyebrows creeps up; theres the barest hints of a smile on his face. He tries not to show how...comforted that last bit makes him feel. Even if it's probably just a joke.]

[It makes life easier, sometimes, it really does.]

[A shit-eating grin as McCoy pads over towards him and hands him a plate.]

Yeah, pretty much. Your ego's always been bigger than your ass, but it's really noticeable today. Take a seat, would you?

[He motions at the little table and two chairs pulled up to it, or the couch with the coffee table in front. Both tables have a stack of padds but there's room for plates, and they're both reasonably clean.]

I don't need a bigger ass, Bones.

[It gets kicked enough the size it is, thanks. And complimented quite often. Jim takes his plate over to the couch and settles in. There's enough room for both of them even with the clutter.]

[The resistance is only token. Jim honestly does his best to eat. Still, he'll barely get through with half of his sandwich before he's done. When he's finished he's content to lean his head on Bones' shoulder and just enjoy the company of being Not Alone.]

Sure, but you don't need yours to disappear.

[McCoy harrumphs, and follows him balancing a water jug and two glasses. He parks himself next to Jim, and inhales about 90% of his before he's done. He's been eating well enough in the last couple weeks, but he's just off a 20 hour shift and he didn't manage much food during it.]

[...McCoy isn't at all touched by that, not in the slightest.]

[He sets his plate back down when he's done, and settles his arm around Jim again. He listens, and feels, gauging Jim's general health and condition by the way he's breathing and the way he leans against him.]

[Quietly] You nursing any injuries you forgot to tell me about?

[Does Jim admit how he ended up in the Nexus in the first place? Or the doctors he saw? Jim squirms but he's taken too much time to think it over, he's getting That Look, now.]

Electrical storm on an away mission. Couldn't use the transporters. Took a couple shuttles down. We were heading back when mine got hit. Crashed in...

[he gestures vaguely]

The Nexus. Some meeting point between dimensions. Anyway, security detail with me didn't make it. Lost Henesy and Fadir. I was pretty bad. Burns, bruised ribs. Clint took me back to his place...and time...and got me treated.

[A small shrug]

Seems to have healed up fine, and didn't have any allergic reactions to 2013 medicine.

[Jim'd damn well better admit to something, yeah.]

[McCoy listens, and sits up straight so he can reach for the closest medical tricorder. His favourite's close at hand, so he turns it on and scans Jim slowly. It's a soft hum as the device starts to give him information.]

Shit, I'm sorry about Fadir and Henesy.

[double-take] 2013?

2013?

[He harrumphs, and gets up to grab an osteo-regenerator from his kit.]

Keep still while I do this, Jim. It's not terrible, but your ribs should be a helluva lot better.

[The regenerator glows a soft blue at the end as McCoy passes it over Jim's torso, checking the readings on his tricorder as he goes.]

[Jim wouldn't be home if Bones wasn't poking, prodding, or waving something over him. Still, it prompts a token groan of annoyance. It's a mere facsimile of the song and dance they usually do. Jim doesn't shove Bones away or tell him to back off. He just sits where he's at and grumbles about Bones moving.]

I said I was fine...Geez. Sit down would you?

[McCoy curses under his breath, giving Jim a shadow of his usual 'shaddup and deal' glare.]

You'd say you were fine if both legs were on the other side of the room.

[He finishes with the regenerator, puts it back in the kit, then finds a hypo. He triggers it abruptly into the side of Jim's neck.]

Electrolytes, various other crap to balance out your blood chemistry. Next time you get medical assistance in that century... don't, preferably.

Fffffuck, Bones! What was that for?!

[Jim squirms away a bit, his hand clapped over his neck. He's half on and half off the couch now, leaning precariously over the armrest.]

Such a jerk. Treating me to dinner doesn't mean you get a free pass to stick me.

[He can't be too hurt if he's whining and pouting like that.]

[sourly] Because I love you, you idiot.

Nope, but being your CMO and your friend means I get to do whatever I damn well like in pursuit of looking after you. I -

[...and this is too obviously serious, too obviously a genuine worry for McCoy]

- I don't want to send you back to that game of yours in your state. You need to be doing a bit better than that to have a decent chance of survival.

Yeah well I...

[Did he just..? Miracle of miracles Jim spears to be speechless.]

[He's just gaping at Leonard for a moment, those blue eyes wide.]

[Did Jim just take that as-]

Not like that!

[...totally like that. But McCoy hasn't quite realised it, even in the privacy of his own brain, just yet.]

Oh. I....

[Jim should know better. He doesn't do love, remember? And sure as fuck people don't love him. He blinks. Looks down at himself.]

I knew that.

[His voice has gone quiet.]

[McCoy stares at him for a long moment, then abruptly turns and puts away the hypo, puts away the medkit. He has clutter around the place, sure, but there are some things, some tidinesses, that are ingrained. Too many years of needing to know exactly where his equipment is.]

[Then he takes a step, and rests one hand on the back of the couch, not far from Jim. He swallows, and runs his free hand through his hair.]

I mean, not that I........

[Yes, good one, there, McCoy. Totally fixes the situation. Very eloquent. Helpful.]

Pfft. What? It's fine, Bones. You'd have Rio be crazy to be.

[Jim is very good at that fake 'it's fine haha' smile.]

[McCoy drops to one knee and thunks his head against the back of the couch.]

[Thunk.]

[Thunk.]

[Thunk.]

That's not what I mean!

[Thunk.]

[...shit, does he love Jim? In THAT way?]

[Thunk.]

The fuck is your problem? I said it was fine.

[Jim twists around so he can see Bones. He's pretty close now that Bones is kneeling down.]

Besides, even if you're hypothetically insane, it'd be your Jim anyway. So don't worry about it, Jesus.

[Oh, for fuck's sake-]

[McCoy looks up at him, meets his gaze. His own eyes are wild.]

You ARE my Jim, you idiot.

And I think I........

........................probably do love you. And I don't know what the hell to do about it!

The hell I am! You didn't know about the shuttle, that I was missing. You said I'm on-planet! Hrs your Jim, not...n-not. Not me.

[This doesn't happen. No one loves Jim Kirk. They think they do. Until they know better. McCoy should know better.]

It's..it's fine. Bones. He's a lucky guy. I'm happy for you.

[McCoy just gapes at him, then reaches out to poke him right between those two perfect eyebrows.]

You are my Jim, you jackass! Fuck! I don't know the quantum theory or any of that bullshit, I'm not Spock, but I know you, I know you're my Jim, even if you've been missing for weeks - months? - in your timeline. The you who's on the planet right now, he's you too and probably if you met you two would do some really fucking gross thing like dissolving into each other and becoming the same person!

[Fuck, he's only just realised that he's in - in love with his best friend - why can't this be easier?!]

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